Life is a mixture of living ups but (sometimes) more countless downs rather than living the gentle flow of ups and its positive outcomes. The truth about life is that one moment you feel yourself suppressed deep and on the other hand happily flowing. Keeping the balance is the best way to cope with these fluctuations and as that is easier said than done there are numerous ways trying to keep this balance. As finding this balance is a personal matter I will show you my way.
In the misty mist of the foggy times you might hold on to every visible mark there is, how tangible this might be. Searching all besides yourself, in these perhaps desperate times, might not be the most appropriate thing to do to keep you going. Actually when you learn to focus on self and its needs it might give you a more and steady balance in life.
Even in periods that you ought to lose yourself, giving yourself away as you stretches your boundaries further and further balancing between pleasing and totally giving yourself away you might take time to withdraw yourself of the current situation. To start feeling in your moment of being is always now and you can start over and over again to find that focus or refocus yourself.
Last months I felt that I gave myself totally away for several years (in fact decades) and numerous people said to me that I radiate the attitude of “come to me I will help you. It is all free and take as much as you can”. When someone told me that I looked at this sweet soul with my big blue eyes wide open and wondering myself where the hell is she talking about? This repeated itself before I started feeling in my awareness. Meanwhile I felt totally exhausted, drained and couldn’t focus myself anymore and the more I started to feel inside the more I knew that this was right.
Knowing your boundaries, feeling my boundaries is a constant movement. You have to be alert, certainly when you are a typical ‘give yourself away kind of soul’, on those cadres of yourself. You can only give away what is meant to give away and in the total neglect, delusion and rebound of self perhaps showing itself as a burnout, depression of a ‘desparkled’ being that is your sign, your time-out, to refeel and refocus.
That is exactly what I did. I canceled most of my appointments, courses and even it had a huge impact on my social life, as you can call the relation with my laptop and drawing pencils social so far, and I feel now that is the best thing I could give myself. I give myself time. Moments to feel, refeel, focus and refocus. Asking myself the intelligent question: what do I need to keep that balance, to keep going and stay feeling in my own concept of being instead of being a chameleon adapted to the feelings, energy or state of being of others?
As I am on the learning school, always navigating between one or another lesson, learning moment or moments, I know that all is well. I am okay. I may take time to reconsider, to find that balance and even to find myself back. The art of living is not only to feel what we need but also feel into this needing and take actions on behalf of self-preservation. It takes some time, perhaps challenging moments too, even dedication but it is so worthy to make these steps.
Keep on moving even when you feel you might not be able to. Just realize that in this movement lies the progress, the energetic attraction and the forthgoing actions too. The smallest step of mankind brought us to great things… so be challenged to bring your being to wuthering heights into your own being. And yes, you can do this!
MY HAPPY SOUL
By Irmgard Daanen